Allie And The River
There once was an intelligent fox called Allie who had a sister called Lola
who loved to hunt. They lived with their Mum in a hole in the ground. They
had a big river next to their home.
“Hey give back my green rock Allie!” said Lola. “I’ll give it to you once you
give back my purple rock,” said Allie. “Fine” said Lola in a bored voice
handing over Allie’s purple rock. “Thank you,” said Allie. “Allie, Lola dinner!”
said Allie’s Mum. “I went out hunting early and got three big Raccoons” said
Allie’s Mum. “Thanks Mum” said Lola.
After dinner Lola and Allie went to bed early because of how windy it was
outside. It was past midnight when Allie woke up.
“Hu,” said Allie sleepy.
Allie walked out of her hole sleepy without looking where she was going.
Allie was now out in the open. Allie’s home was three tails long away from
her now.
“Hu” said Allie.
Allie eyes were now focused. Just at that moment Allie stumbled into the
river. There was a loud splash.
“Ahhh...HELP HELP” said Allie loudly.
Allie could only just see her Mum jumping out of her home until Allie went
down a small waterfall with a big splash. The water was as cold as ice.
Allie gave a big jump out of the river and tumbled on the ground.
“Ow” said Allie with a cry. Out of nowhere Allie’s Mum jumped right next to
Allie.
“Are you alright Allie?,” said Allie’s Mum. “Yes,” said Allie. “Are you sure?,”
said Allies Mum. “Your tail looks really saw”. Allie got up. “Can you carry me
home please?” said Allie. “Okay then hop on” said Allie’s Mum.
Allie hopped onto her Mum. Allie’s Mum jumped up onto a tree and then
jumped off right next to the small waterfall that Allie fell down. After like a
minute of walking, Allies Mum finally got back home. Allie limped into the
hole and went back to sleep.
In the morning after breakfast, Allie told Lola what happened last night. “Did
you really go in the river?” said Lola. “It’s freezing there”. “Yes I did” said Allie.
“Why did you even go in the river?” said Lola with a laugh. Allie looked at her.
“Lola it was dark,”said Allie. “Let’s go hunt some hamsters,” said Lola hungrily
changing the subject. “You're always hungry,” said Allie. “Come on,” said Lola.
“Fine” said Allie laughing.
While Allie and Lola were hunting there was a big thud by a tree nearby.
Allie raced to see what the noise was. There was a big yowl behind a tree
in front of Allie. “H...hello anyone there.” said Allie nervously. There was no
answer. “Hello…” said Allie again. “Can you help me?” said a quiet voice.
Allie went around the other side of the tree and saw a red little fox lying there
looking up at her. “Are you alright?” said Allie. “Not really” said the little fox.
“Well I think I’m alright now” said the fox. “I got to go now bye…” said the fox.
“Wait, don't go,” said Allie. But the fox was already gone. “What's up?” said
Lola quickly. “Ahh… nothing,” said Allie. “I heard you talking,” said Lola.
“Behind this tree”. “I...I was talking to myself,” said Allie. “But I saw a fox
running out from behind this tree,” said Lola. “Umm… that was a friend I met
a week ago” said Allie. “Okay” said Lola. “Lets head back home”.
Allie said nothing on the way back.
Once they got back home their mother was waiting for them, with fresh Opossums. “How was hunting?” said Allies mum. “It was great,” said Lola happily. “I got five hamsters, one squirrel, three birds and a few berries for dinner. “Great,” said Allies Mum. “What about you Allie?” said Allies Mum. “I got one mouse,” said Allie with a sigh. “I wasn't in the mood for hunting anyway”. “Okay then” said Allies Mum with a sigh. TO BE CONTINUED...For Allie into Mystorya.
Hi Johanna! My name is Mia from Yaldhurst Model School. Awesome effort! I really enjoyed your story, you had a nice storyline and I enjoyed your ending. I can't wait for more!
ReplyDeleteI like writing stories a lot, do you? if so, what's your favorite thing about writing? I think I enjoy writing about characters the most, you really have to try to become your character and imagine how they would react to situations.
It would be amazing if you could re-read your story and check a few mistakes (don't worry, everybody makes mistakes! even me!). Maybe you could even add illustrations!
Great work!
Mia
Hello Mia
DeleteThank you so much for commenting.
I really enjoy making up storys, it really keeps me going. My favourite thing about writing is how you can write anything you want into it.
I probably should of re-read anyway.
I might start to do illustrations once I start to make some ALSOME storys.
Thanks again for commenting.
I really liked your comment
Please comment on my future storys.
Johanna B3