Friday, October 23, 2020

Allie And The River

Allie And The River

There once was an intelligent fox called Allie who had a sister called Lola

who loved to hunt. They lived with their Mum in a hole in the ground. They

had a big river next to their home. 


“Hey give back my green rock Allie!” said Lola. “I’ll give it to you once you

give back my purple rock,” said Allie. “Fine” said Lola in a bored voice

handing over Allie’s purple rock. “Thank you,” said Allie. “Allie, Lola dinner!”

said Allie’s Mum. “I went out hunting early and got three big Raccoons” said

Allie’s Mum. “Thanks Mum” said Lola. 


After dinner Lola and Allie went to bed early because of how windy it was

outside. It was past midnight when Allie woke up.

“Hu,” said Allie sleepy. 

Allie walked out of her hole sleepy without looking where she was going.

Allie was now out in the open. Allie’s home was three tails long away from

her now. 

“Hu” said Allie. 

Allie eyes were now focused. Just at that moment Allie stumbled into the

river. There was a loud splash. 

“Ahhh...HELP HELP” said Allie loudly. 

Allie could only just see her Mum jumping out of her home until Allie went

down a small waterfall with a big splash. The water was as cold as ice. 

Allie gave a big jump out of the river and tumbled on the ground. 

“Ow” said Allie with a cry. Out of nowhere Allie’s Mum jumped right next to

Allie. 

“Are you alright Allie?,” said Allie’s Mum. “Yes,” said Allie. “Are you sure?,”

said Allies Mum. “Your tail looks really saw”. Allie got up. “Can you carry me

home please?” said Allie. “Okay then hop on” said Allie’s Mum. 

Allie hopped onto her Mum. Allie’s Mum jumped up onto a tree and then

jumped off right next to the small waterfall that Allie fell down. After like a

minute of walking, Allies Mum finally got back home. Allie limped into the

hole and went back to sleep. 

In the morning after breakfast, Allie told Lola what happened last night. “Did

you really go in the river?” said Lola. “It’s freezing there”. “Yes I did” said Allie.

“Why did you even go in the river?” said Lola with a laugh. Allie looked at her.

“Lola it was dark,”said Allie. “Let’s go hunt some hamsters,” said Lola hungrily

changing the subject. “You're always hungry,” said Allie. “Come on,” said Lola.

“Fine” said Allie laughing. 

While Allie and Lola were hunting there was a big thud by a tree nearby.

Allie raced to see what the noise was. There was a big yowl behind a tree

in front of Allie. “H...hello anyone there.” said Allie nervously. There was no

answer. “Hello…” said Allie again. “Can you help me?” said a quiet voice.

Allie went around the other side of the tree and saw a red little fox lying there

looking up at her. “Are you alright?” said Allie. “Not really” said the little fox.

“Well I think I’m alright now” said the fox. “I got to go now bye…” said the fox.

“Wait, don't go,” said Allie. But the fox was already gone. “What's up?” said

Lola quickly. “Ahh… nothing,” said Allie. “I heard you talking,” said Lola.

“Behind this tree”. “I...I was talking to myself,” said Allie. “But I saw a fox

running out from behind this tree,” said Lola. “Umm… that was a friend I met

a week ago” said Allie. “Okay” said Lola. “Lets head back home”. 

Allie said nothing on the way back. 

Once they got back home their mother was waiting for them, with fresh Opossums. “How was hunting?” said Allies mum. “It was great,” said Lola happily. “I got five hamsters, one squirrel, three birds and a few berries for dinner. “Great,” said Allies Mum. “What about you Allie?” said Allies Mum. “I got one mouse,” said Allie with a sigh. “I wasn't in the mood for hunting anyway”. “Okay then” said Allies Mum with a sigh. TO BE CONTINUED...For Allie into Mystorya.

2 comments:

  1. Hi Johanna! My name is Mia from Yaldhurst Model School. Awesome effort! I really enjoyed your story, you had a nice storyline and I enjoyed your ending. I can't wait for more!

    I like writing stories a lot, do you? if so, what's your favorite thing about writing? I think I enjoy writing about characters the most, you really have to try to become your character and imagine how they would react to situations.

    It would be amazing if you could re-read your story and check a few mistakes (don't worry, everybody makes mistakes! even me!). Maybe you could even add illustrations!

    Great work!
    Mia

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hello Mia
      Thank you so much for commenting.

      I really enjoy making up storys, it really keeps me going. My favourite thing about writing is how you can write anything you want into it.

      I probably should of re-read anyway.

      I might start to do illustrations once I start to make some ALSOME storys.

      Thanks again for commenting.
      I really liked your comment

      Please comment on my future storys.

      Johanna B3

      Delete

Thank-you for your positive, thoughtful, helpful comment.